100 Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends
Looking for jokes that will make your friends laugh so hard they cry?
We have you covered with 100 of the funniest, most hilarious jokes that are sure to get big laughs at your next get-together.
From short one-liners to longer stories that build up the comedy, these jokes cover a wide range of humor everyone can appreciate.
Get ready to become the funniest person in the room—just remember to pause for laughter after each one!
Get ready for nonstop laughs! Below, we’ve gathered 100 fun and funny jokes that are sure to brighten your day and bring smiles and giggles to you and your friends.
From one-liners to longer jokes that build up the comedy, these are some of the best jokes for getting big laughs at parties and social gatherings or even through text or social media.
Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends to Make Them Laugh
1. Clowning Around
What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler.
2. Bras and Chips
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
3. Moley Moley
I went to the dermatologist with a scary-looking mole. He took one look and told me they all looked that way and to put it back in the garden.
4. Two Tomatoes
Two tomatoes were walking on the road. One was lagging behind, so the one in front squished him and said, “Catch up!”
5. Blind Date
“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate. “Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive classic car. What’s so bad about that?” “He was the original owner.”
6. The Forgetful Husband
A wife says to her husband, “Honey, what do you like most about me? My pretty face or my sexy body?” He looks her up and down and replies, “Your sense of humor.”
7. Untrustworthy Particles
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
8. Visiting Grandma
I went to see my grandmother and asked her, “Have you seen my pills labeled LSD?” She replied, “Screw the pills – have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?”
9. The Mathematician
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
10. Hiking Trip
Two antennas met on a rooftop, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
11. Confession Time
My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha wasn’t Greek.
What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.
13. Night Classes
A guy tells his friend, “I’m taking a night class: ‘How to Remember Things.’” The friend asks, “Oh? How’s it going?” The guy replies, “I’ve forgotten.”
14. The Big Pause
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey… and a cola.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.”
15. Food for Thought
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
16. The Godly Boyfriend
My girlfriend treats me like a god… she ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
17. A Trip to the Therapist
During a therapy session, the therapist asked Sarah, “Do you wake up grumpy in the morning?” Sarah replied, “No, I just let him sleep in.”
18. Henny No Penny
I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
20. A Full Plate
My wife says I’m getting fatter, but in my defense, I’ve had a lot on my plate recently.
Long Good Jokes to Tell Your Friends
21. The Clergy and the Bears
A priest, minister, and rabbi want to see who’s best at their job. So, each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together to compare notes. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a full-body cast. “Looking back,” the rabbi says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
22. The Precocious Kindergartener
A kindergarten teacher is observing her classroom of children while they draw. She walks around to look at the artwork. One little girl is working extra hard, so she asks what she is drawing. The girl replies, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
23. The Problem
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” He drinks the beer and then orders another, saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!” The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer, the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers, “Now the problems start!”
24. The Hearing Aid
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a diner. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear, and she said, “Mabel, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?!” Mabel answered loudly, “I have a suppository in my ear?!” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is!”
25. The Magic Slide
Two friends found a magical slide in the park. A sign read, “Slide down and say what you desire, and you’ll land in it.” The first friend slid down and shouted, “Gold!” He landed in a pile of gold coins. The second, excited and nervous, ran toward the slide, tripped, and exclaimed, “Oooohhhh crap!”
26. The Farmer
A man was driving down a country road when he spotted a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer, “Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing?” The farmer replied, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.” “How?” asked the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
27. The Missed Call
A doctor tells his patient he has bad news and worse news. The patient says, “Well, might as well give me the bad news first.” The doctor replies, “The lab called with your test results. You have 24 hours left to live.” The man looks shocked and says, “24 hours! That’s terrible. What could be worse news than that? What’s the worse news?” The doctor shakes his head and says, “I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”
28. Aging Gracefully
A reporter interviewed a woman who lived to be 127 years old. He asked her, “What’s the secret to living so long?” She grinned slyly and said, “I’ve never been married!” The reporter laughed and asked, “Really? Never finding a husband is the key?” She shook her head and replied, “No, the real secret is that I told each of my three ex-husbands I was going to live forever.”
Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends Over Text
29. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
30. What do you call fake spaghetti? An “Impasta”!
31. How does a snowman get around? By riding an “icicle”!
32. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up!
33. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
34. Why don’t scientists trust atoms anymore? Because they make up everything!
35. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
36. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
37. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
38. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
39. Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
40. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
41. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
42. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
43. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents!
44. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
45. Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? They might crack up!
46. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
47. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
48. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor? It was just a stage he was going through!
Funny TikTok Jokes to Tell Your Friends
49. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field!
50. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
51. How does a snowman get his news? From the frosty forecast!
52. Why was the math book always worried? It had too many problems!
53. How do you organize a cat party? You just purr-suade them to come!
54. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads!
55. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
56. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite!
57. How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream!
58. Why did the golfer always bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
59. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
60. How do you make a Kleenex dance? You put a little boogie in it!
61. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
62. My ceiling isn’t the best, but it’s up there.
63. I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections!
64. What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
65. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me!
66. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
67. Why did the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two-tired!
68. I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards, and she said she’d deal with me later!
Funny Knock Knock Jokes to Tell Your Friends
69. Knock, knock.
Cow says who?
No silly, Cow says mooo!
70. Knock, knock.
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
71. Knock, knock.
Atch who? Bless you!
72. Knock, knock.
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
73. Knock, knock.
Olive you and I miss you!
74. Knock, knock.
Harry up and answer the door!
75. Knock, knock.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a scary movie!
76. Knock, knock.
Dishes a great joke, isn’t it?
77. Knock, knock.
Cow goes who?
No, cow goes moo!
78. Knock, knock.
79. Knock, knock.
Interrupting cat wh…
80. Knock, knock.
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car.
Funny Jokes for Friends That Are Limericks
81. The Man from Peru
There once was a man from Peru,
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe,
He woke with a fright,
In the middle of the night,
To find that his dream had come true!
82. The Pelican
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill holds more than his belican,
He can take in his beak,
Food enough for a week,
But I’m darned if I know how the helican!
83. The Man from Kent
A man from the plains of Kent,
Into the air, he was violently sent,
When asked why he flew,
He said, “That darn kangaroo,
Has a kick that’s one hundred percent!”
84. Sneezy Louise
There once was a girl named Louise,
Whose sneezes flowed on the breeze.
She started one day, In a relative way,
And finished in antipodes!
85. The Bard from Japan
A zany young bard from Japan,
Wrote verses that never would scan,
When told this was so, He said, “Yes, I know,
It’s because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I can.”
86. Poor Alice
An adventurous lady named Alice,
Used dynamite sticks as a phallus.
They say that her mate,
Met a quite grisly fate,
And Alice? She now lives in Dallas.
87. Burnt Toast
There was a young man from the coast,
Who ate a burnt piece of toast,
When asked, “Does it crunch?”
He replied, “Just a hunch,
But for breakfast, I like it the most!”
88. Flutey Tutor
A tutor who tooted a flute,
Tried teaching two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor, “Is it harder to toot or,
To tutor two tooters to toot?”
89. Ted from Tibet
A dancer named Ted from Tibet,
Performed a quadruple pirouette.
He landed hard on his ass
To impress a young lass,
Now his dancing is met with regret!
90. The Man from Lyme
There once was a young man from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time.
When asked, “Why a third?”
He replied, “One’s absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!”
91. Fashionable Bessie
In the heart of old Paris lived Bessie,
With grace that was always quite messy,
She’d trip and she’d fall, Right into the wall,
But her fashion? Oh, that was quite dressy!
92. Kitty McGee
A curious cat named McGee,
Climbed up a very tall tree,
He looked down and sighed, “I’m petrified!”
So I’ll sit on this limb and drink tea.
93. The Banker from Belize
A baker who hailed from Belize,
Baked his bread with such great ease,
But his rolls and his cakes,
Would give you the shakes,
And his doughnuts made customers sneeze.
94. The Hare with Flair
A hare with an incredible flair,
Decided to color his hair,
Now purple and pink,
What do you think?
He’s the most stylish hare in the square.
There once was a lady so sweet,
Whose nose was as big as her feet,
When she danced in the sun,
Her big nose would run
So fast that her feet can’t compete.
96. The Maltese Mermaid
A mermaid who swam near Malta,
Used a seaweed wrap as a halter,
With shells on her ears,
And no swimming fears,
She was surely the sea’s fashionista alta!
97. Dancing Claire
There once was a vixen named Claire,
Who danced with unrivaled flair,
But her twirl and her twist,
Came with quite a near miss,
As her skirt went airborne mid-air!
98. Beach Bod Dwight
There once was a man named Dwight,
Whose speedos were awfully tight,
He’d strut on the sand,
With a tan quite so grand,
Much to the ladies’ delight.
99. A Young Creten
There was a young fellow of Crete,
Who was so exceedingly neat.
When he got out of bed,
He stood on his head,
To make sure of not soiling his feet.
100. The Girl from Rabat
There was a girl from Rabat,
Who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
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How to Use These Funny Jokes for Friends
Sharing a joke is a timeless way to connect, break the ice, or simply brighten someone’s day. With a variety of jokes at your disposal, you’re all set to inject humor into daily interactions. Not sure when or where to start? Here are some perfect moments to whip out one of these humorous lines:
- Social Media Boost: Share a joke as a status or story to engage your followers. A light chuckle can make your profile memorable.
- Text Message Icebreaker: Reconnect with an old friend or start a conversation by sending a funny joke. It can serve as an excellent conversation starter.
- Parties and Gatherings: Be the life of the party! Whether it’s a lull in the conversation or a storytelling session, slide in a joke to get those laughs rolling.
- Workplace Elevator: Break the monotonous silence of elevator rides with colleagues by sharing a clean, light-hearted joke.
- During Presentations: If you’re giving a presentation or speech, starting with a joke can grab attention and make your audience more receptive.
- Gift Cards: Include a joke in a birthday or greeting card. It’s a personal touch that shows effort and intent to make someone smile.
Regardless of how you choose to share, always ensure the joke is appropriate for the setting and the audience. Happy joking!