How to Tell if a Woman Has Multiple Partners (13 Clear Signs)
You’ve been dating a special lady for a bit — or maybe even longer.
Things are going well, and you’re ready to commit.
Perhaps you see a future together.
But there’s a hiccup: You suspect she may still be dating and sleeping with other people.
The situation has you wondering: What are the signs of a woman having multiple partners?
That’s the topic we’re tackling below.
Let’s dive in.
How to Tell if a Woman Has Multiple Partners: 13 Conspicuous Clues
1. She Still Has Active Dating Profiles
One of the best ways to determine whether someone is still “shopping around” is their dating profile status. So check if she still has active ones. We’re not suggesting you stalk her, but it’s acceptable to check out a few popular “matchmaking” sites to see if she shows up.
If you do find accounts, don’t flip out. Simply ask. After all, people may forget about profiles they set up months or even years ago. However, if she immediately gets defensive and upset that you’re inquiring, there’s a better-than-average chance that she is still dating other people — and maybe sleeping with them.
2. Dates Are Few and Far Between
You’re very into her and want to plan dates weekly — maybe even several times a week. But she’s not as eager.
Some weeks you’re lucky if you even see her once, and sometimes, she’s only available for an afternoon coffee.
However, while this could be a sign that she’s seeing several people, avoid jumping to conclusions.
Does she have a demanding work schedule — or a sick or disabled family member who needs care and attention?
In these instances, remember that many people are navigating unforgiving schedules, and they can’t be at your beck and call.
However, if you catch her in a lie, and she’s out having a good time when she said she had to work, something fishy may be going on.
3. She Hasn’t Introduced You to Her Crew
Some people like to wait a while before introducing the people they’re dating to friends, and some folks may wait up to a year to bring their families into the picture.
But if you’ve been on more than ten dates and still haven’t met her crew, it could be a sign she’s seeing other people.
However, if you’ve yet to bring your friends around, don’t expect her to do the same. As the old saying goes: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
4. She’s Uninterested in Discussing the Future
You’re into this woman. She checks off all your boxes, and you’re excited about the potential. As far as you’re concerned, she could be “the one.”
The problem is that she doesn’t seem to reciprocate your affection. When you talk about how great you think she is, she doesn’t return the compliments. She may even become uncomfortable.
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There’s always the possibility that she could be playing hard to get, but don’t assume so. Also, be honest with yourself: Are you more interested the more distant she becomes? If so, she may be picking up on that and being mysterious on purpose.
5. She Doesn’t Return Your Affection Equally
What happens when you try to hold her hand? Kiss her? Put your arm around her? Does she pull away? A lack of enthusiasm may indicate she’s not “all in” and could still be sleeping with other people.
Remember, though, that PDAs aren’t for everyone. So before you get upset, have a conversation about it. Pay attention to how she is in private. You likely have little to worry about if everything is fine behind closed doors. If not, it could be a clue that she’s not exclusively into you.
6. She’s Secretive
You’re eager to get to know the lady in question — not just the surface-level stuff, but everything. What are her views on life and love? Does she have a solid relationship with her family? What about her past relationships? Has she ever been through a devastating breakup?
But whenever you try to get nuggets of info out of her, she shuts you down or changes the subject. Again, don’t sweat it if it’s early in the relationship. In fact, it’s more of a red flag if someone tells you everything about themselves early on. Part of the fun of dating is letting things unfold gradually.
Of course, some couples click immediately and feel like they’ve known each other forever after the first five hours. But it’s not the norm.
7. She Wants To Take Things at a Snail’s Pace
You’ve been dating for a while and are ready to kick things up a notch. But every time you broach the subject, she says she wants to “take things slowly.” This can be frustrating if you’ve been seeing each other for over six months, and she’s still uninterested in becoming exclusive.
If this sounds familiar, she may be sleeping with other people still.
Exceptions, however, exist. For example, did she just get out of a marriage? Is she newly sober? If so, don’t push the issue. Most psychologists suggest that people in those situations should wait a year — or even two — before jumping into anything serious.
8. She Has a Wandering Eye
When you’re out on a date, is her attention focused on you? Or does she check out everyone that crosses her path? If it’s the latter, you may not top her dating roster.
Sure, many people admire beautiful folks. Arguably, it’s human nature. And let’s face it; some people are impossible not to check out — (i.e., if Alexander Skarsgard, Michael B. Jordan, or Henry Golding saunters past, 9.9% of women will do a lustful triple take).
But if it’s a constant thing, the woman you’re dating may still be “on the market” and have several partners.
9. Her Libido Seems Low
She says she enjoys sex, but when you’re interested in being intimate, she rebuffs your advances.
To be clear, bodily autonomy is a human right. Forcing someone (or manipulating someone) to be intimate is illegal. Moreover, even highly sexual people aren’t in the mood sometimes — and that’s perfectly acceptable.
But if she rarely wants to have sex despite professing her love for the act, there’s a strong possibility she’s simultaneously sleeping with multiple partners.
10. Other Men Frequently Pop Up on Her Social Media
These days, having friends of different genders is perfectly normal. But something may be up if new men keep popping up on her social media and look very cozy with the woman you’re dating.
If you haven’t talked about dating other people, getting upset about her posts is inappropriate. But if you have, and she assures you that you’re the only romantic partner in her life, it’s okay to ask about the other men in her pictures.
11. People Call You the Wrong Name
You’re out together and bump into one or more of her friends. And then it happens: One of her friends calls you “John,” but your name is “Alan.”
Now, of course, they may just have misspoken. It could be a perfectly innocent mistake. Who knows, the person speaking may be dating a John and has them on their mind.
On the other hand, it could be a glaring sign that your lady is dating multiple people — including a “John.”
12. She Flirts With Other People
Not only does she check out other men when you’re out on dates, but she actively flirts with them. She does the whole seductive eye thing, and you frequently catch her lightly touching other men flirtatiously.
While some people are naturally friendly and tactile, flirting with others when on a date is rude. So if she feels comfortable doing so, it may be a sign that she considers your relationship to be a casual one and is also seeing other people.
13. She Tells You
Sometimes, when people like someone a lot, they’re delusional about how the other person feels. They’ll ignore things said and only focus on the good parts.
Be honest: Does this sound like you? And if so, are you blocking out the fact that she’s been open about her desire to date and sleep with multiple people at this point in her life?
Dating someone who doesn’t feel as strongly for you as you do them can be downright painful. But it’s important to acknowledge when it happens and not try to force the issue.
Is Dating and Sleeping with More Than One Person Okay?
What is a high number of partners for a woman?
It’s a personal decision that everyone gets to make for themselves. Some folks are perfectly fine with seeing several people at once; others like to stick with one person at a time.
So what factors may impact someone’s choices in this regard?
- Religion: Devout people may be more chaste and not believe in dating multiple people at the same time.
- Personal Values: Regardless of religious conviction, some folks are more reserved when it comes to intimacy and may not want to “sleep around.”
- Dating History: People who’ve just ended a serious relationship may be less invested in monogamy at that point in their lives.
- Sexual Appetite: Some folks have high libidos; others could take or leave sex. If someone falls into the former category, they may be more interested in having multiple partners.
Ultimately, everyone has the right to determine what works for them. So long as you’re happy, healthy, safe, and honest with your partners, the choice is yours.
How to Handle It If She Has Multiple Partners
We’ve talked about signs of a woman having multiple partners. Now, let’s chat about how to deal with the fact that the lady you’re seeing isn’t exclusive to you.
Do the Same
No rule says you can’t date — or sleep with — multiple people simultaneously. So if the woman you’re seeing is doing it, go ahead and follow suit. But don’t feel pressured. There’s also nothing wrong with taking it one person at a time, even if they’re not.
Express Your Desire To Commit
If you know the lady in question is seeing several people, tell her you want to commit. Who knows, she may just be waiting for you to make the first move toward a more substantial relationship.
Make Yourself a Catch
Win her over by working on yourself! Most women are impressed with the effort. So work for it. And we’re not just talking about how you treat her (which is obviously paramount). But also consider where you can improve outside the relationship.
However, never try to be someone you’re not. The goal is to find someone who loves you for you and not for what you have or what image you project.
Put Effort Into Your Appearance
Have you been looking (and feeling) a tad schlubby lately? If so, turn up the volume on your appearance. Start hitting the gym and get a haircut that flatters you. Reconsider your facial hair and buy a new outfit or two. We’re not suggesting you try to look like someone else; just make an effort to put your best foot forward.
Treat Her Immaculately
The best way to win a lady over is to treat her impeccably. Listen when she talks; remember what she says and build on that; learn what she likes and treat her to meaningful little surprises. But most of all, respect her.
You may adore her. You may see a beautiful future together. But it’s probably time to move on if she doesn’t feel the same and refuses to stop seeing other folks. Ending things will hurt, but it’s likely for the best. And who knows, it may be the thing that gets her to commit.
There’s nothing wrong with dating multiple people simultaneously — so long as everyone is honest. So the first thing to do is ask, especially if the relationship is new. If she freely admits it, explain that you’d like to be exclusive and go from there.
If you’ve been together for several months, agreed to be monogamous, and then discover she’s still sleeping with other people, you can decide whether the relationship is worth fighting for.